The Wedding of Laura and Mark Heiman

November 6, 1999

 

Procession

Organ Processional: Salve festa dies -- Ralph Vaughan Williams

Introduction

Welcome to you all.

We have come together
to ask God’s blessing on Laura and Mark,
to witness their marriage
and to bring them our love and support.

I ask you now to pray for them;
and not just to pray today
or only in this place
but to pray in your hearts continually
and over the years.

As we pray we minister reconciliation.
Those who marry
are God’s ministers to each other
of reconciliation and change.
As they grow together,
two people foster one another’s strengths,
they provide each other with the reassurance and love
needed to overcome their weaknesses.

From this beginning
God draws them now to a completely new life.

Declaration:

to the couple
Laura and Mark, you are welcome.
Pray that God will uphold and cheer your life together,
that your promises be honored,
your words true,
now and in time to come.

For our part, we ask you to make your public declaration.

the couple each say
I love Laura/Mark,
and I want to marry her/him
before God
and in the presence of this community.

Affirmation:

To the parents:
Gail and Cliff Saxton,
in your new relationship with Laura and Mark,
do you, their parents,
pledge your loving support?

We do.

Ruth and Francis Heiman,
in your new relationship with Laura and Mark,
do you, their parents,
pledge your loving support?

We do.

To the congregation:
Will you, their friends and family,
do all in your power to support this couple,
to welcome them anew into your community,
now and in the years ahead?

We will.

Officiant says to the couple
May God’s grace surround you
and keep you.

May the peace of God
which is beyond our understanding
keep guard over your thoughts and hearts.

May God keep you friends with one another,
forgiving one another in kindness.

Let hope keep you joyful.
Stand firm in trouble.
Be strong in prayer.

May there always be love
to bind and keep you whole.

Hymn: Be Thou My Vision

Readings:

Proverbs 31:10-31
A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and tasks for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers girdles to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

Colossians 3:12-14
As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another, and if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other, just as God has forgiven you. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Sermon:

Pastor John Nourse

Laura and Mark, perhaps the most important word for you today is gift. You can see physical gifts that are coming to you. There are wedding gifts from family and friends. There is the gift of wedding gown and other physical gifts that persons have made or brought like banners, to make this place beautiful and symbolic of joy.

There also are intangible gifts from parents and friends that have helped to make you who you are, and have brought you to this day and time of commitment. They are gifts of love, faithfulness, trust, and hope.

But perhaps the greatest gift you receive today is a new wardrobe. It is not the usual kind of wardrobe. It is God's wardrobe.

"As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another, and if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other, just as God has forgiven you. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (Colossians 3:12-14)

Underneath all these tangible and intangible human gifts is the gift of God's love. God loves you as persons. God loves you as a couple. Actually there are two facets of God's love, which make your wardrobe complete.

There is love that says, "I need you," to the other. The dignity of human beings is that we need each other. In Genesis one, God creates a world of diversity. God creates a world of interdependency. Humans depend on other humans. We need what is missing and necessary, which is one of the magnets that attracts us in romantic love. More than any other creatures we depend on each other for emotional and physical needs. God has given us a seeking love that causes us to search for another. God says that this source of romantic love is good.

Yet there is another kind of love that God gives us as a gift. It is a gift that helps us reach out to each other. It is a self-giving love. We see this love most clearly in Jesus, who related to persons with compassion and caring that was inclusive. The love of which Paul speaks in I Corinthians 13, the great love chapter in the bible, first of all is God's love for us, a love that isn't resentful, doesn't rejoice in another's mistakes, is patient and kind. God's gift is that we are given the power from God to reflect this sdf-giving love. It is a love that doesn't react to the other, or retaliate with revenge. It gives without guarantee that it will receive in equal measure. The Greeks had a word for this kind of unconditional love, agape.

Agape love enables your needy love to grow and endure. It is more than emotions, It lasts beyond the emotional high of your wedding day. There are highs and lows in any intimate relationship. There will be times when you fill anxiety about the balance in your check book, having to pay bills when you have a cold and a headache, needing to fix dinner after a long day of work. That's when love becomes long term, and a matter of the will. For better or for worse are words in the traditional vows. Of course, there is much you can accomplish as two intelligent persons who are creative and resourceful. But not all is of your own manufacturing or marketing. The power to forgive comes from a Source beyond you. Intimacy comes from a Source beyond you. Reunion after an argument comes from a Source beyond you. Peace within one's self and another comes from a Source beyond you.

It is God's gift of love that enables you to turn your love outward toward each other, and beyond yourselves to the world. In Dostoevski's The Brothers Karamazov Alexei falls asleep and has a beautiful dream. When he wakes up he does a curious thing. He throws himself down on the earth and embraces it. He kisses the earth and among tears that are in no way sentimental because they are turned outward, he forgives the earth and begs is forgiveness and vows to love it forever.

Just so, God's love happens to you and through you. You become a channel of God's love to others beyond your marriage. Your wedding rings become larger circles that take in God's world.

God has given you a new wardrobe to wear for the rest of your lives. After the wedding gown is stored in a box and the tuxedos are returned to the rental store, God will continue to clothe you with new garments of love. The strange thing about this wardrobe is that you will wear it most often when you give yourself to each other and to the world.

Prayer:

Let us pray.

God, fill us with an awareness
of your presence in the world around us.
Awaken in us a sense of wonder
that you have created us in love.
As we celebrate the marriage of Laura and Mark,
deepen our love for those close to us,
and for all those who need our concern.
Lift up these your children as they commit themselves to each other
and grant us all a greater sense of joy in life,
as we share this moment of joy with them.

Vows:

Mark, I take you to be my husband.
All that I have I offer you;
what you have to give I gladly receive;
wherever you go I will go.
You are my love.
God keep me true to you always
and you to me.

Laura, I take you to be my wife.
All that I have I offer you;
what you have to give I gladly receive;
wherever you go I will go.
You are my love.
God keep me true to you always
and you to me.

Prayer over the rings:

Light of the world,
encircle these rings with your blessing,
to show the love of Laura and Mark.
Bind them together
And keep them in your love eternally.

Giving of the rings:

Mark, this ring I give to you,
with my body I honor you.
God make me your true wife
until we are parted by death.

Laura, this ring I give to you,
with my body I honor you.
God make me your true husband
until we are parted by death.

Joining of hands:

God so join you together that nothing shall ever part you.

Pronouncement:

We have witnessed the promises made by Laura and Mark.

In the presence of this community,
God has made a new creation.
From this day forward,
let us recognize them as husband and wife!

To the couple:
May God give you light to guide you
and love to unite you,
so that you may be faithful to the vows you have made this day,
and live together in joy and peace
all the days of your lives.

Prayers:

Let us pray.

Loving Spirit,
grant to Laura and Mark,
that in giving and forgiving
they may receive from each other lasting joy.
Bind them together with cords that cannot be broken.
Bind them together with love.

Grant that they may always take delight in each other,
and each remain the other’s heart’s desire.
Bind them together with cords that cannot be broken.
Bind them together with love.

Dismissal:

Laura and Mark, go now in peace and in love.

And the blessing of God,
Creator, Savior, and Giver of life,
be with you all, now and forever.
Amen.

To the congregation:
Let us go forth in peace
rejoicing in the God of all creation!

R: Thanks be to God!

Recessional Hymn: Laudate Dominum (Taize)

 

Most of the text of this service has been adapted from A New Zealand Prayer Book, the prayer book of the Anglican church in New Zealand.